This was written in 1995, after my then 2 year old son woke up and well just read what he did! I wanted to keep the memory so after his little kitchen debauchery I wrote it down on paper. Someday, I may use it to embarrass him at his wedding.
1995
I woke up this morning to the birds singing, the sun shining and thought to myself this is going to be a great day. I went downstairs, and as I approached the kitchen the smile I had been wearing turned into a look of total shock. Why you ask? Well, standing in the middle of the kitchen was a 2 year old boy I didn’t recognize. You see he was completely stained with red powdered cherry Kool-Aid (which I think may have been his war paint because he definitely had gone to war with my kitchen), the fact that the kitchen floor was also stained red only served to camouflage this 2 year old wrecking crew. The Kool-Aid had become his paint and my floor his canvas. (by the way although we bathed him generously after his war, he was stained for days, turns out red Kool-Aid powder doesn’t come off so easy). As I ventured further into what use to be the kitchen, I noticed that red stained boy had also dumped an entire bottle of liquid laundry soap into the litter box. Which I found out later that cat had swam in (we have video of us trying to get all the soap off the cat, quite funny to see). There was also a pile of coffee , an entire can I must say neatly arranged 2 year old style on the floor, with a hill of sugar next to it (yeah there was no coffee or sugar for me to have coffee that morning, which meant no coffee for me to deal with this disaster, he built a small mountain with it). He had also opened the oven, took out all the racks and thought it would be a good place to lay his Mr. Potato Head, which was quite ingenious because he must have seen me put potatoes in the oven (thank God he couldn’t reach the knobs to turn the oven on).
I stood in total amazement at the destruction this little red stained, one boy wrecking crew had caused. He turned to me when he finally noticed that I was there and said “Hi Momma”. So sweet, so innocent! I remember having to leave the room so he wouldn’t see me laughing. Thus my son was apply named Dennis the Menace, (whom I still call Dennis although he is now 21). For this was just the beginning of his curious need to get into monkey business.
(More stories of the red stained boy to come)