Farts are a taboo subject for some, but for a man it is a proud display of masculinity. Gorillas beat on their chest to show their dominance, Men fart. When you gather a group of men together a war of farts usually ensues and you got it right, the worse smelling fart wins! If you win the battle of farts you are the fart champion, and your title can’t be taken until someone can outdo what you did.
Some farts are quite deadly and become weapons of mass destruction that are capable of wiping out everyone in a room. Like an atomic bomb leveling everything in its path. (I live with a man that drops these bombs all the time, he can wipe out everything within a 15 miles radius) Gross you might be thinking but at the same time it’s quite humorous that one man can produce such a noxious smell. After living with this man for 12 years, my fart immunity has been built up.
Farts come in all shapes, sizes and styles. For your viewing pleasure I will list a few of them.
The Fart of Eternal Stench, this fart just won’t go away, it hangs around for an eternity.
Crop Dusting is useful when you are in a crowded store, like Walmart. Just walk down a crowded aisle and dust everyone, and watch how quick that aisle clears
The Walking Fart, the walking fart is not the same as crop dusting, it is a continuous fart that is produced while walking. With every step you take, you fart. You could walk a mile and this fart just keeps going,
Ventrillofart is good for making it seem like someone else farted
The Fart of Death because you think you will die when you smell it
The Tweet, the tweet is a real trickster you think it won’t be that bad because it sounds so small, but damn when that thing hits the air it expands like a hot air balloon
There are so many more farts, but I need to run because my fart champion just stunk up the room.